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How to Combat Libido Changes In Long-Term Relationships

04 July, 2023

Most people yearn for a comfortable, loving, long-term relationship — one where they can be fully supported and happy with another person. 

However, long-term relationships aren’t always plain sailing and, just like the crazy world of dating, can come with their various problems. 

As you grow more comfortable in your relationship, for example, you might find that the romance isn’t as intense as it was at the beginning. You might find yourself falling into a routine, impacting not only your libido but also your desire for intimacy. 

While this may be perfectly normal, having a healthy sex life is crucial, strengthening your connection with each other and boosting your overall happiness in the relationship. 

Discover more about the changes you might experience with your libido as part of a long-term relationship and learn how to reignite your spark with the help of Hormones And You.  

Understanding libido in long-term relationships

A decreasing libido is pretty common in established, long-term relationships, and can happen for several reasons. These include: 

There’s a big misconception about decreasing libido in long-term relationships, with many people worrying that it must mean their partner is no longer attracted to them. However, this isn’t the case 99.9% of the time. 

In the vast majority of situations, there will be an underlying reason as to why your or your partner’s libido isn’t as fiery as it once was. 

It’s also important to remember that most couples don’t consistently have as much sex as they did when they first met. This is perfectly natural to experience as time goes on. 

Changes to your libido can be addressed and, if you’re concerned, there are things you can do to help. 

Most people don’t know, for example, that low testosterone can impact both men and women, with decreased levels causing low libido. This can easily be treated using a hormonal treatment, like the bioidentical testosterone cream we offer here at Hormones And You. 

Communication and connection

In a long-term relationship, you need to have open, honest communication with your partner about your sexual desires and needs. Speaking freely about how your libido might have changed or communicating with them about what your sexual needs are can make a big difference. 

Understanding each other in this way can forge an even stronger bond and resolve some of the issues you might be having.  

If you’re nervous about having these kinds of conversations (which is only natural) try talking to your partner when you’re both in bed. Most people feel more comfortable and relaxed when lying in bed at night, so you may find it easier to communicate more freely without worrying so much about what the fallout might be. 

When having these conversations, avoid leading with “you” and instead focus on “I”. 

Rather than saying “Your low libido makes me feel unwanted”, for example, try saying “I feel that our sex life has become less frequent, is there anything we can do to work on this?”.

Where possible, try to make the conversation constructive and focus on what you can do as a team — never put the blame on each other. We can all get so caught up in daily life that we don’t even realise the impact we have on others. 

Let your partner know if your sexual needs aren’t currently being met and tell them if you feel like your libido has decreased. You can’t read each other’s minds — no matter how long you’ve been together — so always make time to talk and listen to each other.

Sometimes, restoring your intimacy takes place outside of the bedroom. Therefore, try to also strengthen your emotional connection by spending time together. 

Regular date nights, movie nights or even cooking dinner together can help bring back your spark. 

Prioritising self-care and wellness

As well as working on your long-term relationship with your partner, you need to work on your relationship with yourself. 

Self-care is vital when maintaining a healthy libido. Make sure to eat a well-balanced diet, exercise regularly and practice stress reduction techniques to boost your overall sense of wellbeing. 

A big contributor to stress is work, so do your best to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Don’t work yourself to the bone — as not only you but your relationship will suffer. Take the time to talk through any work problems with your partner so you can support each other and try to work through them together. 

Addressing physical and mental health factors

Mental health can have a big impact on your libido. Feelings of stress, anxiety, depression and even low self-esteem can make you feel less interested in sex than usual. 

If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t be afraid to reach out for support from a trained therapist. 

Physical health can damage your libido too. If you have chronic pain or zero energy after a busy day, for example, being intimate with your partner is probably the last thing on your mind. 

Hormonal imbalances are more common than you realis too and can impact your libido. When women start to go through menopause, the level of oestrogen in their bodies can drop drastically, causing their libido to drop with it. Men can experience hormonal imbalances as well — low testosterone levels can make your libido and desire to have sex almost non-existent. 

While this may all sound like doom and gloom, there is help available out there! 

At Hormones And You, our testosterone cream can be used by both men and women to help restore your natural level and boost your libido. We use bioidentical hormones in our products to perfectly replicate the natural hormones in your body, making them much more effective.  

Dealing with relationship challenges

Libido problems in long-term partnerships can sometimes be caused by pre-existing issues within your relationship. These will need to be addressed if you want to enjoy intimacy with each other again.

Common relationship problems that can affect your libido often include: 

  • Conflict — arguing doesn’t make you desire each other at all

  • Stress — this could relate to financial stress which impacts both of you or familial stress such as illness and struggles with children

  • Lack of emotional connection — sometimes you may find that you feel distant from your partner or you seem to have grown apart

While these issues may seem as though they can’t be resolved, there are ways you can work through them as a couple. 

Instead of arguing whenever you are faced with conflict, try to tackle problems head-on together. Remember, long-term relationships are all about teamwork, so you need to be on the same side. Stress can be a hard one to work through but, at the very least, you can offer a shoulder for your partner to cry on when they need it most. 

This, and being emotionally available to your partner’s needs, can help strengthen your connection and help you feel closer in the bedroom. 

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A low libido can happen to anyone, at any point in their life. But it doesn’t have to be a permanent change — many people recover their libido and enjoy intimacy with their partner again.

If you or your partner are struggling with low libido, don’t let it come between you. At Hormones And You, we aim to help couples get their spark back with the help of our bioidentical testosterone creams. 

Take our online consultation now and take the steps towards a boosted libido and healthier sex life. 


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